Some Things I Saw on the Street Today!

-A truck for "Yeast and All Baking Ingredients" - which alludes to an impressively thoroughly stock - almost cocky, really! I imagine the following exchange at their store:
CUSTOMER (probably wearing a chef's hat): Excuse me, but do you carry...
CLERK: Yep.
CUSTOMER: But you didn't even hear what...
CLERK: We've got ALL baking ingredients, guy. It's right on the sign, Dr. Hawking.
CUSTOMER: (Quietly takes out revolver and blows his own brains out)
END SCENE!

Of all the ingredients to spotlight, yeast isn't exactly the matinee idol that gets people excited about baking. It's not delicious, it smells terrible, and it's most commonly associated with a feminine hygiene problem.
That aside, though, written underneath"Yeast and All Baking Ingredients" on the back of this truck was the message "Just Say No To Drugs!" The paintjob was new and very professional, so it wasn't some handpainted afterthought, or some hold-over from the 80s. But it made about as much sense if the Poland Spring Truck had "Always Practice Safe Sex!" written in calligraphy underneath their logo. I guess they figured it was a message that needed to be spread - and that if the kids look up to and listen to ANYONE, it's the purveyors of baking supplies.

-A shirtless guy who was clearly proud of his body - which is no real rarity, except for the fact that he was pushing up 9th Ave. on a Razor Scooter. Kind of sad, really, because with the obvious gym time and the shirtlessness, he had expended a LOT of effort to send the message "I am sexy." And it was all immediately undone by his choice of transportation, which screamed "Do not have sex with me ever."
Basically, no one's going to be impressed with your amazing biceps if they're holding onto a pair of three-foot-high handlebars . He really should have just run up the street chanting "I have syphilis! I have syphilis!" - he would've gotten more exercise and it would have been less of a turn-off to women.

-A very casual businessman - soon after seeing the scooter enthusiast, I passed a guy wearing jeans and what can only be described as a tanktop polo (collar, three buttons, no sleeves whatsoever). And, of course, he had a briefcase. I have no idea what he was up to, but I like to think the briefcase was filled with cash, and he was negotiating for the safe return of his sleeves.

-A Learning Annex flier featuring Jessica Biel - which is the perfect opportunity for struggling actresses to ask Biel for tips on how to make it in movies. Well, let's see - you studied drama in school, you've got lots of theater experience, you're always working to hone your craft. You seem to be doing everything right.... Oh, wait! Are you really, really hot? No? Well there's your problem! Mmm hmmm - rookie mistake! That'll be twenty bucks!

-A gang of street urchins fighting a swarm of rats for the meat on the corpse of a hobo - oh, Mondays!