I Will Be A Millionaire Restauranteur!

New York has a lot of really popular restaurants that sound like they were started by well-funded 8-year-olds. There's a mac & cheese restaurant, another one that only sells rice pudding, and there's even a peanut butter and jelly place. There were also TWO separate grilled cheese restaurants, until one closed (I guess the market couldn't support both - considering all you need to make your own is 78 cents worth of ingredients and an iron). But for the most part, these places are amazingly successful.

Which is why I've been racking my brain trying to come up with the next big fad. Maybe this city is begging for a place that only serves tap water (I'd call it "Waterworks"!) Or the next big thing could be "Puttin' on the Ritz!" - an exciting new dining experience that offers over 40 toppings to put on Ritz crackers! Huge! Or maybe a dorm-themed eatery that only features Ramen noodles! (I don't have a name for the place yet, but maybe I could go with a reggae angle instead and call it "Hope You Like Ramen, Too!")

Sure, they're all million dollar ideas, but wasn't it Donald Trump who said, "Million dollar ideas are for faggots"? (Answer: no)

And that's when my SKILLION-dollar idea hit me! An idea so trendy, so comfort food-centric, so nostalgic yet ironic (or "nostronic") that it's guaranteed to make me as rich as a castmember of "That 70s Show"!

Discriminating diners of New York City, I give you... "Lefty's: The Left-overs Restaurant"! Here's how it works: customers bring in their left-overs from home and, after paying a $10-per-person table fee, they heat them up in a personal, table-top microwave. Then they eat them. And afterwards, they wash their own plates and leave (tipping is optional, but sneeringly-encouraged).

If anyone is interested in investing, or just has an old microwave they want to get rid of, let me know. Get in now before the "Time Out" cover story has the line wrapping around the block! Remember, the sooner you start cooking, the sooner we can seat you!