You've Mislead Me, Rachel Ray!

Obviously, I'm big fan of Rachel Ray - as well as anything else that Oprah has expressed an even mild fondness for. And tonight, I made Ray's chili recipe from her "30-Minute Meals" book. But I found out that it winds up taking longer than half an hour for that particular dish if, while cooking, you forget that you've been handling jalapenos and then absent-mindedly rub your eyes. In the end, the whole half-hour timeframe is completely thrown off if you spend 15 minutes in the bathroom furiously splashing water in your face and saying "Ahhh! Fuck!" over and over again, while trying to push past the pain so you can open your eyes long enough to make sure they're not actually bleeding.

That one's more of a "45-Minute Meal...That Leaves You Feeling Like a Thwarted Mugger." But I guess her title sells more books