Not-So-Good-Natured Ribbon

I was driving along the other day and the car in front of me had one of those magnetic ribbons on its trunk. Except that this ribbon wasn't declaring support for our troops, or calling for autism awareness or finding a cure for breast cancer or whatever. This one had a more important message - and that message, offset by a trail of little pawprint graphics, was simpley, "I Love Shih Tzus!" And I realize there's probably no such thing as justifiable vehicular manslaughter - but that should definitely be grounds.

It's not that I expect any kind of brillance from the back of a car (although I do make sure to adjust my ideology depending on what Calvin is pissing on). As a rule, anything you put back there (bumper stickers, college decals, those license plate holders) all scream of insecure, self-centered nonsense. You not only need random passerbys to know what you're all about, but you can also sum it up that succinctly. Shih Tzus! That's me! Fishing! I like fishing! Who's with me?!? There are even those who would say that my vanity plate ("HORSECOK") falls into that domain.

But in that sea of obnoxious, pointless adornments, the magnetic ribbon had a kind of odd nobility to it. They called attention to an issue and just reminded you of its existence. If you wanted our troops to go home, you spent a buck and slapped it on your car. And maybe while someone was stuck behind you at a toll booth, they'd think about it too. And of course, those ribbons aren't going to change the world - but at least they had their heart in the right place.

Using a bumper sticker to trumpet your extremely brave pro-Shih Tzu stance would be insipid enough. But coopting the ribbon to deliver that message takes a special breed of moron. It's like using the obituaries section to list the Honda Civic you have for sale.

It got me so mad that I immediately covered my rear windshield with a decal of Calvin pissing on a frivolous magnetic ribbon. Then again, if it's open season on magnetic ribbons, maybe I'll just get one that says that says "I hate your ribbon!" and be done with it.